Oh i need to get some sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its 1.02 on Thursday morning and i am up for work at 7.30.For the past couple of weeks i am unable to sleep.Its very annoying when i have to get up to go to work.
Well I have stopped bleeding but the pain is still there,its not as bad and it seems to come and go but right now i am physically and emotionally drained but hey its all part of living with endo.

Its mu cousins party on Friday night and to be honest im really not up to it but i have to go as i am sick of being called a hyperchondriac so i will go and put on a fake smile and pretend that there is nothing wrong with me while inside i will probably b crying.I cant expect people to understand what i am goin through if they dont have ENDO themselves.

One of my cousins went to her GP today as she thinks she may have ENDO and she is just waiting for an appointment for a lap and has been put on the Pill whilw she is waiting.I really hopw for her sake that she doesnt have it as i wouldny wish this on my worst enemy.

Still doing our best to organise our group,alot of forms to fill out as we want to make it all legal,so hopefully it wont b to much longer.

I took Friday of work so Tomorrow is my last day,have lots to do on Friday so lets hope it will be a good ENDO day

Life sure is a rollercoaster when your living with ENDO

So I woke up on Saturday in really bad pain and bleeding again,will this ever end i ask myself.
The pain was really bad that even my pain killers werent working and i was minding my little nephew.I
couldnt run after an 18month old,thank god my Mam was here to help.

It was 4 o clock sunday morning again i dozed of to sleep,i stayed in bed all day Sunday and just wasnt in de
humour to talk to anybody.By Sunday evening my bleeding started to stop but the pains are still there.I am finding it hard to control my pain and especially being in work in a nightmare but i cant afford to go sick again.

I have no idea what is going on with my body,i dont understand why i am in so much pain and i am not
bleeding.Im up and down like a yo yo thats why when i am havin a good day i do everything that i possibly can because i know that i can end up like this at any stage.

 Lets hope my week gets better

Weekend is nearly here :-)

So things are still great for me at the moment,full of energy and very happy.Oh if only this could last it would be such a great life,i would not complain about anything anymore.

Im really concentrating on getting our group up and running,we have been receiving good responses already about it and one of the girls has organised a Quiz night in the showboat in Waterford on the 16th of Feb,good luck with that hun we need all the help we can get at the moment.

We will be setting up our website shortly and our leaflets with information about Endo is nearly ready.We have checked our GP's surgeries and there is no info on endo there and the majourity of hospitals in ireland have no leaflets on endo either,its an absolute disgrace but we hope to change all that.

I will keep you all updated on how our group is progressing :-)

When things are good life is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What can i say,i am feeling great and im in great form.No bleeding and just a dull ache in my side,seriously i never thought id feel this way again.Im sleeping and an starting to get my energy back at the moment LIFE IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!

I have now started to eat more fruit everyday,i was diagnosed with IBS last year and to be honest i really dont think i have this,i reckon this is just another symptom from endo but is just easy for the docs to say that it is IBS.Im goin to prove them wrong as i have introduced more fibre and fruit into my diet and i gaurantee that i will still suffer with constipation.I should have a fair idea if this will work by the end of the month.

So i was telling you about our Endo support group that we are trying to set up,we are going to call it Endo-Aware and i am filling out the registration forms to make everything legal.The sooner we have this sorted the sooner we can start organising charity nights out.

Weekend is over and I am starting to feel GOOD

God i have been up and down and up and down,my moods just keep changing.I spent most of the weekend in bed just because i want feeling great and wasnt in the humour for people!!!!!!

Well I have stopped bleeding today whooohoooo,cant believe it and i have very little pain and im in great form.
Im getting back to my old self.

I have met 2 other girls in Ireland who also suffer with Endo and we are trying to put a support group together
for endo sufferers,their families and friends,we WILL promote this disease as we have suffered in silence long enough.If anybody has any ideas for us on how to promote endo awareness please feel free to leave a comment,i will definately respond to you.We know its gonna take alot of work but we are 100% commited and that is all that matters :-)

No Change

Well im still feeling crap and am in pain.I am physically drained at this stage from lack of sleep,vomiting and being in constant pain!!!!!!!Tried to get an earlier appointment with the Gynae but they cant fit me in so roll on the 23rd of Feb,have 2 get this sorted.

I went to the loo today in work cos i knew i was going to be sick,when i got back to my desk a Teamleader came around and asked why i was 8mins in the toilet,i was so annoyed as i have already given them a letter from my gynae explaining that i may need to use the loo more often.I had having to keep explaining myself all the time to people i dont like never mind the fact that they are like strangers to me :-(

Im so happy ive gotten through this week in work,only tomorrow to go and then the weekenf to rest.This is the 1st time im finding it tough working full time and having endo.They call it a career womens disease,how the hell are you suppose to have a career if your constantly in pain :-(

Weather is CRAP,I feel like CRAP,everthing is CRAP

Its soooo cold,it snowed last night and the paths are very very slippey,nearly fell so many times and i thought to myself ''thats all i need is to break an arn or leg on top of this''.Anyway i did make it to work and back without breaking anything and Tonight is suppose to be worse,oh no :-(

I slept very little again last night,was up walking the floors for most of it as i couldnt lie on my back because it was to sore and i couldnt lie on my side due to the pain and i dont like to lie on my stomach.Felt like i was just asleep when my alarm went of so up i got for work.

I didnt speak much in work Today,just wasnt in the humour,my colleagues are great they know when to leave me be and take no offence to it.

Well my new year resolution was not to go to bed unless i had to and now for the past 2 days,i have had to go to bed after work,i think if i can get some decent sleep i will be in better form.

Ah well another few hours till Tommorrow,another day!!!!!!!!!!

KNEW IT WAS TO GOOD TO LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didnt get much sleep last night,and when i did wake up this morn i hav been in agony ever since.
My side feels like there is a knife being twiszted around,my back is in a bad way and im vomiting.

When i got in from work,i just started to cry,why?i havent a clue,maybe it was the relief of getting through the day.I jumped into a hot bath just to ease the pain and sat there crying,when i got out of the bath,i locked myself away from everybody and went to bed.

I have now stopped the Provera,took none at all Today as there is no point.I hope the pain subsides.Ive been havin a feel sorry for myself day Today,asked questions like:
WHY ME?
WHAT HAVE I DONE SO WRONG TO BE SUFFERING LIKE THIS?
WHY DOES NOBODY ELSE UNDERSTAND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH?
IS THIS MY LIFE,A LIFE OF PAIN?
WHY THE HECK AM I CRYING?
HOW MANY MORE YEARS WILL I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS?
AM I GOING MAD?

The list just goes on and on and on.This just isnt like me to have a feel sorry for myself day,im not a huggey person but i could of done with a hug Today.

No more hormone medication it driving me mad,im like a different person,its time to put my foot down and take no more crap.

Please oh please let me feel better Tomorrow :-(

Another great Day

Ok so i have had another good day,im luvin it but im waitin for the pain to come and hit me with a bang,dont get me wrong the last 2 days have been brilliant but i know whats to come :-(
I just chilled out today and went to my friends,when im like this i love being around people havin a great chat and a good aul laugh.Lately ive been doin more crying so its great to laugh for a change.

Back to work tomorrow and im looking forward to it.Still thinking abot stopping my meds as im still bleeding and it will save me a €100 a month.Il finish this months and then decide what i will do.Im back in the hosp in Feb so maybe i should stay on them until i go back to see my gynae,oh i dont know what is the right thing to do.

Will keep you all updated am now goin to watch celebrity bb

Smiles All Round

Its a new day and im feeling better,still bleeding but dont hav much pain and i woke up in great form so i was really happy all day :-)

Got the Luas to town but it was soooo cold i just had something to eat and me and my frined came home lol,ah well at least we got out for awhile.

I have made up my mind,in 2010 i will no longer stay in bed unless i have a hangover or i am so much in pain tat i cannot walk,its time to take a stand and fight this disease.I will do what i want when i want,i will no longer let endo decide these things for me.

All smiles for me Today :-)

Happy New Year

Well its 2010,another year with Endo.Im still taken my Provera but guess what?Im still bleeding,ok its not much but its everyday still :-(
So 2010 started exactly how 2009 ended in pain and bleeding.I had no intentions of spending New Years Eve in bed alone so I got out of bed and invited a few friends around and had a few drinks.The drink did take the pain however however im payin for it Today but im havin a relaxing day,got up at 12.30 and had a long soak in a hot bath and i am now going to have my dinner.

I was back in work Wednesday and it was terrible,i just didnt know what was wrong with me,i was loosing the head over the most stupid things and because i had to stay calm in work,i just let it rip when i came home and then i just bursted into tears,my hormones are all over the place,just dont know whats going on with me anymore.Yesterday I was in work but it was very quiet so i was able to just chill out :-)

With all this going on it makes me think is it really worth it taken the medication?What is is possibly doing for me if im still bleeding and in pain?The only thing that i think it is doing for me is driving me CRAZY and giving me facial hair which i really dont want!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well heres to 2010,lets hope it will be a better year than 2009..........