Unable to sleep

After me being doing ok and not long after i posted my last entry,the pain decided to get worse so i have taken my pain killers which normally make me drowsy but im wide awake.Its terrible cos its like the rest of my body is asleep except for my brain,hate feeling like this.

Hopefully i will doze of and have a good lie in.My parents are going away in the morn so i asked my friend to stay with me as i hate being alone,especially when im like this.

Lets hope tomorrow will be better.

Good Xmas :)

Well i got through the xmas ok yeepeee,i am so happy.Im still bleeding not much tho and have tat dull ache in my right side but i dont need my pain killers i can cope with it so at least that is something.

I had a great xmas day with my little nephew,he keeps me on my toes but hey im not complaining cos he is the cutest little thing ever.I was in great form,i decided that i will continue to enjoy myself even if im bleeding,i will not let endo beat me this xmas.I made sure not to over do anything tho just in case.

I had a few drinks on Stephens night and had a laugh with my family.It was great,for once i felt normal and i didnt have to put a fake smile and pretend that i was ok because i was brilliant and really enjoyed myself.

Still taken the Provera,I have decided i will take dem until i go back to the hosp in Feb and then see what the doc thinks.I really want to stop them cos now i am getting alot of facial hair,i dont want to wax it cos i want to shoe the doc when i go back so im leaving my hair down all the time ,im really embarrassed about it now :(

Lets hope the new year will go just as well as the xmas for me.Im back in work on Wednesday and Thursday,but i dont mind.

Happy New Year !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH NO NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes im bleeding AGAIN,it started yesterday,now im frustrated,annoyed,upset and in pain.Maybe i did to much over the weekend,who knows.

On Friday i went to town to do some xmas shopping,got a bit done and went for a drink after it,ok so i missed just 1 Provera tab,could this be the reason im bleeding?Doubt it,dont think missing 1 tab would have such big effect.

I went back into town on Saturday to finish of my shopping,i was so tired i came home and had an early night.I have to say i felt great on Fri and Sat,didnt feel like i was over doing it at all.

When i woke up on Sunday i had really bad pains in my abdomen and my lower back,i knew then that i over did it.I decided to take it easy and stay in bed and just chill out for the day.In the evening the pain started to get worse,got up and went to the loo and i was BLEEDING.

Today im still bleeding and i have alot of pain.I no longer know what to do anymore.Im thinking about just getting the lap and be done with it.I have survived 12 so whats another 1?????????

Its my FRIDAY

Ok so i know today is only Thursday but because im not in work tomorrow it my FRIDAY.My plans for tomorrow and Saturday is xmas shopping :( I hate shopping for presents dont know what to be getting people.Anyway enough about that this is suppose to be my Endo Diary.

Well im feeling better still have some pain and im very tired but hey apart from that im doing ok.Im not over
doing things and when i finish work i rest.

Im suffering from constipation at the moment and have been that i have IBS,i think it has alot to do with
my Endo,i now think it may have spread to my bowel.I hope it hasnt but im not suprised if it has.

I am defo gettin de coil fitted in Feb when i go back to see my Gynae,I know its not going to help with getting rid of the Endo but it will help with the bleeding and pain so il give it a go.

More updates coming soon!!!!!!!!!

Where did the Weekend GOOOOOOOOOOOO?????????

Where did the weekend go,it flew in and I didnt get a chance to do anything at all :(
Spent it all in bed trying to stop the bleeding as I knew I had to be ok for work Today.

Well good news the bleeding stopped last night and the pain has eased alot,so them tablets
must have worked.The thing is,I am suppose to take them for 5 days but they make me feel
out of it.Seriously the room does be spinning and I cant feel the floor that I am walking on at times
and thats ok if I am going to lie in bed but when I have to work I cant take them.People would think
Im on drugs so  I have stopped them.I have no idea if this is the right thing to do but Im sure I will soon
find out.

So my whole weekend I missed out on,but Im not to bad Today,although my Mam said that when I
got up this Morn I was in really bad form,she thinks its the tabs,I think it was just to early in the Morn,haha.
I dont think my Mam should be blaming Endo or my tabs on everyting,everybody gets into bad form every so often you dont have to have Endo or be on tabs,ok maybe it doenst help tho.

Lets hope my bleeding and pain stays away over Xmas,I would like to be able to sit back and enjoy it this year.

Bloody Friday

Well just as I thought,I started to bleed AGAIN.I feel like my stomack is getting ripped apart inside.I am now thinking maybe I should of just said yes to the lap to get this stupid horrible disease lasered away AGAIN.The pain just gets so bad everytime that I bleed but I keep this to myself and just keep smiling.

I thought I'd never get out of work today,as soon as I came home I took 2 Zydol and I have been in bed ever since.When I get like this,im better of left alone cos I take it out on the people around me.My Gynae prescribed me Cyklokapron,she told me to start taken these if i start to bleed so I started them,they are suppose to stop me bleeding so fingers crossed they will work.

Its amazing how quickly I have changed my mind about the lap,when the Gyane asked me about it,I wasnt in much pain and was totally against it and now id do anything to get rid of this horrible pain.

WHERE ARE MY GOOD DAYS GONE??????????

Well I will fight this to the best of my ability,I am not going to let Endo take over my life like it has done in the past.

1st Day Back in Work

Ok,so I have been out of work the last 8 days,not with Endo this time,with bronchitis and pharyngitis.Didnt
sleep to good last night,had pains in my lower back,but dozed here and there.Got up this Morn and of to work I went.

Ive been having cramps in my stomach Today and my left side had darts coming and going,I just hope im not going to start bleeding again cos it does feel like period cramps,however,I have never suffered with my left side always my right.

I just want to get over xmas without bleeding,I dont know why the Provera will not work for me,I thought they were brilliant a few years ago.Maybe I am feeling a few more aches and pains today cos I have been up moving around,as the last 10 days ive been in bed so i have been able to rest and now my body doesnt know whats hit it.Im still feeling a little all over the place,maybe because im still not 100% back to myself.

I am so exhausted after work,I have to get myself back together.Well tomorrow is another day and Il be having another early night Tonight.

Time for me to start fighting back

UPS and DOWNS

As you all know we have ups and downs with this disease,its a pity we dont have more ups than downs.
Today I cant describe how I feel I seem to be all over the place,dont know whether to laugh or cry,hate feeling this way.This is one of my hormonal days.

Still have my ache in my right side,back to work tomorrow,cant wait,but part of me is dreading it as I have been able to stay in bed the past week and I havent been stressed so I hope Tomorrow will be a good day for me.I have already been sent emails day after day due to using the loo alot,this was not my fault as I was bleeding non stop for 3 weeks.I actually had to go and tell my Teamleader that I was bleeding and explain everything to her,but I still received emails asking why I was using the loo so much.My Gynae gave me a letter to explain that due to my condition I may have to use the loo more often,so with a bit of luck she will stay of my case untill something else crops up.

I am going to have an early night Tonight and be well rested for Tomorrow.
Goodnight

Good Day

Ok,so Today has been a good day so far apart from the constant ache in my right side but I can deal with that.I have bronchitis and pharyngitis at the moment but im feeling so much better and will be returning to work on Thursday.

Im am starting my 4th month on Provera and my bleeding seems to have stopped so thats good,lets hope it stays this way.I havent really been having side effects from the Provera,I do have hormonal days but so does everybody.I do find that I need to use the loo alot more often,but to be honest I dont think that has anything to do with the tablets,I think im starting to get kidney infections.

Well lets hope tomorrow is another good day,you can never tell with this Endo what it is going to be like from day to day.Good days are few and far between!!!!!!!!

Below is some information about the signs and treatment for Endo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVrKiBUPoL4

My Story

Well after 12 years of fighting Endo I decided to write a blog about it as every day is different,as you all know who have this we have good and bad days.Below is my story.

At the age of 12 I started my periods,at 14 they disappeared for a year and returned at 15.I was told by my GP that this is normal and nothing to worry about.From the time I started my periods at 12 till 16 I was fine,I didnt even know when I had them and they would only last for 3 days.

At 16 I started to get really bad pains in my right side,this would happen about 2-3 days before my period.I would then have pain in my lower back and abdomen.I remember the 1st time I got this pain,I was lying in bed and my Mam gave me paracetamol and a hot water bottle to put on my stomach.After about 4 hours my Dad called an ambulance and I was taken to A&E.A doctor was coming over to see me when a nurse said ''she is only in here with period pain,she doesn't need to be seen straight away'',well I tell you my Dad didn't let that go.

I was diagnosed with a bladder infection,this became part of my routine every month and if it wasn't a bladder infection,it was a kidney infection.After about 6 months of this a doctor that I seen in A&E referred me to see a Gynae as he could see a pattern.

Off I went to see the Gynae who did scans and blood tests,but guess what,nothing showed up.At this stage I had started to collapse every month with the pain.The Gyane put me on Ponstan pain killers,which didn't work and one night I took the bottle just to try and get rid of the pain.

I was studying for my Leaving Cert at this stage and was missing alot of school.One night I went to have a shower and the next thing I woke up with 2 ambulance men beside me and I was on oxygen,I looked at the floor and there was a pool of blood and I could hear my Mam crying.The ambulance man asked how long I was gone and I explained that I wasn't pregnant that I was having a period.

When I arrived at the Hospital,they did more scans,which showed up nothing.My Mam was so upset that she told the Doctor that she wasnt taken me home and wanted something sorted.At last they decided to give me a laporoscopy,I was 17.After my Lap the doctor came and told me I had Endometriosis,before we could say anything she was gone.My poor Mother thought it was some type of Cancer.Luckily enough we had a health care nurse who came to my house for my
Gran,she was able to explain it all.

The Gynae decided that the best thing to do was to bring me back to theatre to laser it away,but the endo came back and was more aggressive.I was then put on Deca Peptal,this was really bad.I got hot flushes,depression,mood swings.I couldnt cope on this and again was missing school.The Health nurse told us about a Gynae who is top for Endo in Ireland so I went to see her.

Thankfully I passed my Leaving Cert but was unable to work due to the pain that I was constantly in.Nobody in my family ever heard of Endo and no one suffered like me.My parents tried to understand but I knew they didn't really know what I was going through and my friends just thought I was a hypochondriac.

I went to see the new Gynae,who was very good and knew exactly what I was going through.I had another lap and she removed the endo again but never discharged me from her clinic because she knew it would come back,just a matter of when.
A few months later I was back to square one,this time the pain was so bad in my right side and I was vomiting.Back to the hospital I went,they wouldn't see me,I was told that the A&E was only for pregnant women so I had to go to another hospital.I was then rushed to theatre as a chocolate cyst had burst.

I then changed Gynae's again as there was no point in attending the top doc for Endo if I couldn't see her when I really need to.I was put on Provera to stop my periods which was great and really worked well for me,but I always had a cyst that would come back,and the more I got the Endo lasered away it came back.

I'm now 29,I have had 12 laps and my Endo is back since August.I am back on the Provera but unfortunately they don't seem to be working like they use to.I was bleeding for 3 weeks on them,but it has stopped,so far so good.My Gyane wants me to have another Lap,but I really dont want another one,I think 12 is enough,so my last option is to have the Mirena fitted which I have until Feb to think about.I am going to try it,Il try anything before Surgery.I also have to get abnormal cells removed from my Cervix,still waiting for a date for this.

I dont mind talking about Endo to anybody,I am very open about my condition,if people want to know,I tell them,as I know how difficult it is for people to understand what we are going through.

I use to let Endo control me and my life,now I try my very best to control it,I missed so much because of it.

Keep smiling Endofighters,we must not let this disease win.

Please leave a comment for me.